I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
