I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
