I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
