I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
