How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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