# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
So squirting runs in the family.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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