Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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