The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
is that a dick in a sweater?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
