Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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