Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
