Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
