Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize