Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
