the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
