Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
