Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
So many bounce houses so little time
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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