I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
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When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
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No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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