If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize