Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize