3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Randomize
