You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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