i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
