You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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