we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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