Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
