i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Randomize