I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
