I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
