I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
