I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
