i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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