Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
