Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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