You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
