oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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