I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I just cut my nipple shaving
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
