Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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