You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
