i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
