grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize