He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
