Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Randomize
