thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
