my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
