Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
