I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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