We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
