She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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