well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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