Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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