Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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