Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
