I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
