if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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