when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
