She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
