The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
