he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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