he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
