; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
