I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Randomize
