3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
worst night to have a conscience
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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